Who am I?

Sometimes life doesn’t exactly work out the way you planned it……or is it simply that you forgot to make a plan in the first place? Whatever the reason you seem to have made it to a certain age where the people around you have their life sorted just the way they want it, the perfect job, the perfect partner, the baby on the way…..and your life, well it doesn’t seem to have changed that much since you were a crazy fun loving eighteen year old. Sure you have a job and moved out of home, but have you really moved on and up in the world? And why do days and or even weeks of every month still get written off due to major hangover issues and terrible stomach churning feelings of “what the hell did I do last night?” Trust me, you are not alone in the worrying feelings of where is my life going. But I’m here to help you. I don’t for one second believe that I can sort your life out for you, but I certainly have a few stories that you can relate to, that can possibly make you smile, maybe even laugh out loud, and certainly make you realise that no one has it all. Everyone has their own little moments where it comes to light that life isn’t quite what was expected but with a few tweaks, the odd risk thrown in and a lot of laughter and tears… maybe you can get a bit closer to where you really want to be.

Two months ago I had a great job, earning a pretty impressive wage. Sure I was no millionaire but I never had to think twice about spending. If I wanted those new shoes I bought them, if I fancied a ridiculously overpriced meal out with my friends, I went. And I happily enjoyed a couple of bottles of champagne on top. I had the glamorous life, travelling to Milan and Paris four times a year with work and probably two or three sunbathing holidays with loved ones thrown in on top of that. My wardrobe was bursting with expensive designer clothes, many with their price tags still on….I liked to buy even faster than I could wear. I had my weekly workouts with my trainer, plus running a few times a week to ensure the body was something to be proud of too, I enjoyed perfection with never a hair out of place. To many of those on the periphery of my life they probably thought I had it all, the smile never left my face and I kept my social life busy. But the reality was I had nothing that I wanted!

Every book and TV show these days are all about promoting the independent woman, who needs no one but her own bank account. She can look after herself so men and kids come second to all that… sure there are some women with those priorities…I may have met one or two along the way…but they are definitely a minority. I’m not saying we are really all stepford wives, who are at the beck and call of every man, but is there really something wrong with admitting that we do want a husband, a family, the whole romanticised package of being looked after?…Not in my world….or should I say not in my new world, that I have just allowed myself to enter.

In my new world I admit to myself and those around me what I really want. I want a career that makes me smile every day and makes me proud of myself, not one that makes me stressed and unhappy, no matter how good the pay and prospects are! I want to find a man that I genuinely see myself spending the rest of life with, not one who really isn’t good enough, but I spend months convincing myself I can change and mould him into someone I want him to be. I want more time to spend with my family and friends creating memories so that we can continue laughing at ourselves and each other for the next sixty years. I want to wake up every morning, ready to enjoy the day instead of that sinking feeling that still nothing in my life has changed and I am getting no closer to where I want to be. It’s actually much easier to paint the smile on your face and talk about how wonderful you and your life are. But this isn’t about short term results, this is about making the real life changes that mean you can have incredible years ahead of you with everything you ever dreamed of.

Well after daydreaming for the last couple of years about the imaginary life I want, I decided to finally put the wheels in motion to possibly achieving some of these things rather than just fantasizing about them. Everyone has their own wishful moments, about what they really want to do and where they want to be…. and I’m well aware that my dreams are not for everyone, but that’s not to say some of the ideas and thoughts I’ve had can’t be used to help you on your path. So join me in for the next year, discussing the goals I achieve, the ones I manage to fall way short off and the lessons I learnt along the way……can my life help you make your changes too?

(Extract from The book: Counterfeit Supergirl)

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